Today is the first day of keeping a chimp diary; acknowledging gremlins and creating autopilots. I hope!
My chimp always wakes up first and this morning she woke up to the sound of Him (my partner) jumping up and down outside the bedroom window on the gravel. ‘How bloody inconsiderate!’ My chimp growled inside my head. I tried to justify his behaviour; he must be putting out the bins or something similar. ‘Still bloody inconsiderate, it’s really early,’ she continued to grumble. I slept a while longer and then had a shower. While in the shower, I fantasied about how I would leave the house to go out without saying goodbye. Not sure why really. To show without explaining that I was cross? I knew the real reason my chimp was moaning, which was because He had got up early to watch the rugby and as a result we would not enjoy a lie-in together. My chimp was rattling the bars of her cage, shouting at me, ‘he’d rather watch sport than spend time in bed with you!’ This is partly true I recognise but justify as it’s ‘The Lions’ rugby tournament and therefore really important. Well, to him anyway. Or rather my true self tries to react in a more grown up fashion. As I was dressing, He comes into the bedroom to say good morning. I try to keep my chimp in check but fail miserably. He apologised for waking me up and I admitted I was being chimpy. I didn’t explain why but I think it’s progress that I can admit when my chimp is in control. I know that it wasn’t the best good morning I could have given Him. A while later my chimp felt a flutter of shame as He had made me a cup of coffee.